Questioning Love

Pretty much every aspect of life constantly confuses me. I feel as though nothing is set or even really real. Emotions are something I just can’t grasp.

Love? What is love? People say you just know when you’re in love but I’m not sure about that. I don’t know if love even really exists? To me love is something that you should probably feel for everything and everyone you know or at least anyone that you have fond feelings for. Anyone who is your friend or whom you seem to have a connection to and if you’re a person who likes pretty much most people then you should in turn love them.

I don’t think anyone (generally but I know this is what I feel) really wants to see another person or living thing actually get hurt or see another person sad or in any sort of pain because in turn you feel a part of that pain. You watch films and read books so you feel what those characters are feeling and you empathise. I think the only difference between the above mentioned ‘platonic’ kind of love and the love shared between two people who are ironically called ‘lovers’ is the physical attraction.

So I don’t think that there is any one person that is meant to be with another. In fact I feel the exact opposite. I feel there are many people in this world who are capable of being lovers or ‘in love’ with each other. Two people who are in love are simply great friends who have a lot of things in common and enjoy each other’s company whom also find each other attractive. If you have a great friend whom you also find attractive then I think if there is mutual attraction then all that is needed is to act on that attraction.

The only time these relationships don’t work is when one of the two doesn’t find the other attractive anymore or their friendship isn’t what they thought it was. So really people who don’t stay together in the one relationship is because both the friendship and the attraction has ceased so much that you can’t rely on one of these two feelings to keep the relationship going. Some relationships would be 50% friendship and 50% attraction but when the attraction dies down to a lower percent then the friendship has to sustain the rest (eg. 30% attraction 70% friendship). If either of these can’t sustain the other to keep the relationship at 100% then there may be problems.

In this theory, perhaps humans aren’t really meant to be in completely monogamous relationships. Why are we one of the only species who really are?

I do believe in community though. Being surrounded by people who you like to be around – which is why people start families I guess? But why are we so bound by this notion of family. My brother and I are nothing alike. We have nothing in common except the same parents and siblings, other than that there is nothing? Does that mean that I’m still supposed to love him? Most people would be astounded by anyone who didn’t love their own brother but is that only because we’ve been trained that we have to love these people no matter what? That said I do love my brother because I love everyone – why shouldn’t I love everyone. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt ever and I especially don’t want anyone I actually know who is in my community getting hurt. So when asked if I love someone I will say ‘yes’. If I’m also attracted to that person does that make me ‘in love’ with them? I guess it does.